what is wrong with me

pre warning- I am venting so if you don' t want to read my small pity party stop now

When Sunday rolled around I was two weeks late for my period. Now my period is never on time after chemo but usually not off more than a week. At that point Clint was stressing out. He was reading online all the side effects of being pregnant on Cellcept. It is really bad. I would most likely have a miscarriage it would be late into my pregnancy and if the baby was born and not a still birth it would probably have a deformity if not mental retard. So I took a pregnancy test to ease the stress for both of us and if I was to get the ball rolling to figure out what I would have to do. We don't even know if I could carry the baby right now. I would have to go off my medicine cause if I stayed on them it would make the baby sick and then me sick. Right now my health is very dependent on my medication. See the problem? Well I have prolonged it long enough... I am not pregnancy. The pregnancy test came back negative. Now why is my title titled "what is wrong with me" because what was my reaction after I found out I wasn't pregnant? I CRIED! I am not ready for a baby right now even if I could have one no problem. But I want a baby eventually. I wanted to get pregnant so that my kids were no more than 3 years apart. But I don't have the control over that. Either we adopt and that could take I don't know how long. Or two we try when I am healthy enough to go off my medication (which I am not close right now) But I will have to take blood thinner shoots everyday in my stomach or butt called lovenox which hurt like hell! If I get sick at all I will be put on a huge dose of predisone. Babies can have issues from moms on predisone, the percentage is not as bad as cellcept but its not much better. Then right after I have the baby I will have to get chemo. Yeah all of that sounds freakin' great. I am just frustrated right now. I know I am so blessed to be alive. I love being a mom to Skyler. He is so funny and adorable. I just hate not having control on when we can have a baby together. I hate not being ablet to even know when we can adopt or try. It is all so "up in the air". I am really for the long story. I am really not tryign to just complain. I just needed to let it all out.

I am torn between the two

I mentioned two boots I loved in my last post. Well I found another one. So I love all three of them. I like the first two the best because I have a pair of black boots just like number three. I really need your help deciding cause I will be stock with them once I get them. Don't tell him that I know... and I am glad I have to force him to read our family blog but... I think Clint is going to get them for me as a surprise. If he gets them he will get them for our anniversary which is 9-8-09. I found a url that had a picture of 2 but couldn't find one for 1 and 3. sorry!

1 http://www.journeys.com/product.aspx?id=139656&g=girls&p=shoes&c=817&m=SM

2 http://www.dsw.com/dsw_shoes/catalog/product.jsp?index=28&category=cat20173&prodId=192862&brand=



3 http://www.journeys.com/product.aspx?id=139623&g=girls&p=shoes&c=817&m=SM

the good, the great, and the freazing cold

Currently I know it is still dang hot outside.. But its crazy to think in a month it will start getting cold! I love fall. All the beautiful colors... and all the fun things that come are coming up!



September starts with Our Anniversary (2 years on 9-8-7), Scrapbooking Expo, BYU Football games, My Birthday- Vacation to Las Vegas, and Halloween! I am a Summer beach bum at heart but I love love fall too! By the end of a long hott summer I am ready for fall!

For our anniversary Clint is in charge of it this year (each year we take turns) The only thing he told me is it has a "theme"?... I am excited to just have time with him. I can't believe its only been two years. We have been through so much together. Clint is my best friend! I can't imagine life with out him by my side anymore. I love making dinner for him every night. Supporting him each day. Having dreams and goals with him. I am so excited for the next year of our life together. But hopefully it will be less eventfully! Sometimes I honestly don't understand what I did to be so blessed to have such an amazing man by my side! I love you Clinton!

The scrapbooking expo!!!!!!!!! 10 plus straight hours of scrapbooking bliss! http://www.scrapbookusaexpo.com/
Amazing deals on scrapbooking supplies!!! Like 25 cents a sheet on Scenic Route paper! 100% girl time!

Rise, all loyal Cougars and hurl your challenge to the foe.
You will fight, day or night, rain or snow.
Stalwart men and true
Wear the White and Blue.
As we sing, get set to spring.
Come on Cougars, it's up to you!
CHORUS:
So Rise and Shout, the Cougars are out
And on the trail to fame and glory.
Rise and shout, our cheers will ring out,
As you unfold your vict'ry story.
On you go to vanquish the foe
For Alma Mater's sons and daughters.
As we join in song, in praise of you, our faith is strong.
We'll raise our colors high in the blue,
And cheer the Cougars of BYU.

Having plans every Saturday from September to the end of November!!!





Help me pick out a new pair of boots for the fall! I want some tall light brown boots... that our flat or have a tiny wedge or heel. Here are the two pairs I have found that I like that aren't going to totally brake the wallet
1
http://www.journeys.com/product.aspx?id=139656&g=girls&p=shoes&c=817&m=SM
2
http://www.journeys.com/product.aspx?id=139623&g=girls&p=shoes&c=817&m=SM

What do you think or have you seen any other cute pairs?


I turn 21!! I know I know I am still a baby! lol! But it does mean that I can go to Vegas and be able to get into places! We are hopefully going to go with some friends but either way its going to be a blast. I am really excited. I want comments on fun things to do while we go and the best places to eat though...


For Halloween I like for Clint, Sky, and me to all dress up as the same "theme" I guess is the best way to put it. Last year... for those of you who don't remember I was a Cowgirl, Clint was a farmer, and Sky was a pea in the pod! Cute huh?!







So this year we are going to be animals.. I am going to be a kitty cat, Sky is going to be a monkey, and Clint is going to be a Cougar! (If I can find a way to dress Clint up as a cougar... without paying 500- 200 dollars for a mascot costume)





Now what I am NOT excited for... after fall ends what happens? come on y'all know this. WINTER COMES! Nasty, wet, cold, snowy, winter comes! Utah winter! That starts anywhere from October to November and last until around march!



I love the first snow because its always so pretty and I love Christmas time. This year Sky will be old enough to play in it and we can take him sledding. That will be great but the 3-5 months of freezing stinkin' weather is NOT worth it! Well atleast it is only one more year.. I will have one last white Christmas and then The South here we come!

Changing things up

Since Clint got the job offer for PWC I have been looking for townhouse in the Charlotte area. For when we move next August. I have also been figuring out how I want to decorate each room in the house because I FINALLY get to PAINT my walls!!! No more white!!! I am plannning to go for a completely new look for the master suite and new some advice. I am thinking about doing the master black and cream an accent wall of a light charcoal grey shade and then maybe if it needs some color a teal or something? I need some help... as you can tell! I have recently become obsessed with black and cream. I think its so elegant and pretty! This is the bedding I fould that I love... start the comments and advice flowing!!!!

Photo Shoot

Who: The talented Shelly Geller
What: Photo Shoot
Where: Wheeler Farm
When: Wednesday August 12th
How: She did an a summer special on her blog for $100 off the first 5 people that emailed her and I just happened to be blogging that morning!
Why: I have the stinkin' cutest son in the world!!!!!

I am pretty much obsessed with all the pictures!!! I love them so much! I couldn't be more happy with how they all turned out! This was the preview she put for me on her blog. We have a ton more favorites!!! Comment if you want me to email you the password to check them all out!